ive grown up to be really viscous. dont fuck with me. you may catch me at an unstable time. if you really want to make me unstable because you want to take advantage of me in any way— youll be disappointed. you (and i) don’t want to see it for the sake of your curiosity and or disbelief. i would end my life to dissatisfy someone who treated me like shit. my capacity for anger, hatred, seems to know no bounds.

i do not exaggerate. i will fuck you up if you try to break me. i am no longer a shaking pup who begs for mercy and smiles in forgiveness because “it could be worse”. i will not take it anymore. i will fight to the death for my right to survive, and if i die trying, i’ll be gone for my enemies, too. i won’t give up. when i stop, i stop and i’ll know i never gave up and pushed myself to death. i may not have fists of steel, but i do know an awful lot about how people work, and if you keep me around after all the shit i throw at you, well, that’s a very easy weakness.

don’t fuck with me.

my body is disgusting a friend said once they were in the shower when they were younger and they lactated if that happened to me i might just kill myself right there

anyone who comments positively on my “breasts” can. die. or i will. in front of you. go fuck yourself i’m so sorry for the rest of my body that’s why i hacen’t hurt myself too bad yet

kinda sad thast my educatio n often, at the tightest of corners, boils down to “either it’s my grade, or it’s my life.” reasons why my grades are so shitty. i won’t push it for something that won’t matter if i’m gone.

fffuck you i want no mercy on you this is all your fault i want to hear yyou scream nyou piece of shit this is all your fault and i want yo to know it if i ever get to that low point and if i ever don’t have to worry about the peopel i love you. you will be my nex t project and i will destroy you without ever laying my fingers on you or your kin. i’ll work soem of your own magic on you and you’ll find your cage breaking down as you start to see. i did this. i want you to know it was me i want you to COWER in front of me and i want yu to be absolutely terrified. i want you to think of my face in the last moments before your thoughts are torn to someone low in my chain of contacts as they lift that arm to you and you scream murder for mercy but there’s no mercy for you. none for you or anyone you associate with. you will cower but i don’t know if you’ll have time to cry

i never did wanna grow up did i

now, looking back on it, i lament on the fact that i didn’t grow out of it because now it really hurts, haha. i dont want to make myself ‘grow up’, though, because i think if i forced myself to do that i’d lose a reason and will to live just like if i didn’t get to fly, or study space, or something not mundane. life isnt enough for me, and it’s not so much that i couldnt come to terms with it as much as it is that i’d accept it and then the people i loved would have to accept that i no longer wanted to be alive. there would be no reason for me to live other than to protect those that i loved, which would throw my body under the bus as well as any hope of attaining what i’ve always wanted. i don’t know if my family would like me, either, and given that i’d then only be living for one or two people, i’d be a bit of a rock, in both a stabilizer sense and an uncaring one. it’d hurt enough to push the people i love away that i’d have to do it anyway.

ouch. um. i don’t wanna be here, but i don’t want to go, either, so leave me be, please. some hope would be nice.